Blimey!!! Bunny burglar!!

'Mummy!!! Mummy!!! There's a vampire at the back door' yelled Hermione. Yeah, yeah - as if. Our back garden is fully enclosed with high fencing. Anyway, I pulled back the curtains at the french doors and right enough there was a vampire! I nearly wet my pants. It's very dark out our back.

I stood for a minute not quite knowing what to do. What if it was a freaky bloke behind the mask? I now realise it was probably quite foolish but I opened the door and asked if I could be of any help. I do despair at how damned British I can be at times! I'm looking for my rabbit he said. Well how can I help? I asked. Oh, it's just over there he replied - pointing at our rabbit! That's our rabbit I informed him. No, he's mine! - Oh no he's not!

After a minute or so of panto type dialogue the young lad (he was about ten) asked politely if it would be OK for him to climb back over the fence. I told him that would be fine and asked that he didn't return.

How blinkin' bizarre! It would have served him right if I had invited him to try to catch the rabbit (he's free range). Last time Craig had to catch him for a purpose he was totally shredded. He looked like he'd done a round with Freddie Kruger! Also, this is the rabbit that neighbours stopped me in the street to complain about because it goes into their garden and chases their dog. Shheeesh, that young lad had a lucky escape....