Saturday, 3 July 2010

Lines in the sand

I'm listening to moody tunes, trying to embed one or two of them here, failing miserably (having been outwitted by YouTube once again) and pondering drawing lines in the sand....



GP referred me on to our local specialist eye hospital on Friday. Glad he did too as it turns out I don't have some freaky degenerative eye condition as he had told me - I've just got water trapped under the skin of my eyeball (urrrghhhh!) which will settle given time. I just need to sit tight, wait for it to get better and then I will be able to see properly and drive again.

Hmmm, so why does sitting tight now feel so darned uncomfortable? I generally spend life dreaming of sitting down so why is it so difficult to stay home for a couple of weeks or so and chill? I don't know if I'm having a mini crisis, a revelation or just a plain and simple over reaction. The arts programme I have been negotiating with a local arts organisation for over a year now is finally getting going, I've a Cathedral trip for the younger home ed children coming up soon, a home ed summer fayre to plan, pasta and pinot grigio to snaffle with a couple of great mates one night next week, a full day cricketing event with the children and so it goes on...

I think I need to pick up a stick and draw that line. I've a stick not a magic wand. I can't make my freak show eye disappear over night. Time to accept that some stuff may well just have to happen with or without me and that it's okay for that to happen. I don't *have* to spend all of the time running around like a headless chicken. I'm not indispensable. Life will go on (and may actually be all the sweeter) for a fortnight spent lounging in the gazebo with a magazine - large print of course *grin*.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Glad to hear the eye thing isn't as scary as you feared. Hopefully it'll fix itself soon - but in the meantime, enjoy your enforced chill :-)

Looking forward to seeing you soon x

Claire said...

I will chill - but I miss everyone :-)

a said...

ah, glad its not as *bad* as you thought. I can understand the enforced chill and not wanting to sit tight.